We’ve Made Lunch Weird
In a recent interview, I was asked why so many people feel weird about doing things alone in public. Now let’s be clear - we already do a lot of things alone in public without a second thought. However, due to social norms, our personalities, and the environment, there are activities that make us very uncomfortable and can stop us from engaging in things we might enjoy, which could help us break some Bad Day mojo.
While we feel comfortable going to the shop and buying some eggs, walking from the bus stop to the office, or waiting at the EFTPOS machine (all very public and solo things we do), activities like sitting in a restaurant for lunch, going to the movies or travelling alone have some people breaking out into hives.
It’s not actually about being alone. It’s about being seen being alone because the moment you sit down at a table for one or think about going to a movie by yourself, your brain gets busy. Do I look awkward? Do people think I’ve been stood up? Do I need to pretend to be an undercover food or movie critic? We’re uncomfortable because we think we’re being assessed. [Spoiler: We’re not. Everyone else is too busy worrying about themselves. But that’s not how it feels.]
Some people have turned eating alone into a personal development challenge, calling it solo dining or table-for-one. It’s like a triathlon, but with gnochhi followed by the obligatory post to social media.
Taking yourself out, being independent and not waiting for other people to be available so you can live your life - there’s something genuinely good in that.
Not putting your life on hold? Excellent.
Learning you can enjoy your own company? Also excellent.
But lunch gets weird when it becomes a test. Can you sit there by yourself … without your phone … without looking like you’ve been emotionally abandoned by society … and enjoy a 12-course degustation at a Michelin-starred restaurant? Which makes lunch less “I feel like pasta” and more “I must prove I am a fully evolved, self-sufficient human.” Is it about growth, or is it content with cutlery?
One of the ways I suggest we respond to a Bad Day in The Bad Day Playbook: What to do when everything sucks is to go it alone. Maybe you want to take a small solo action to reflect on your issue, or distract yourself for a while, so you can get some distance and give yourself a break.
In a recent interview, I was asked why so many people feel weird about doing things alone in public. Now let’s be clear - we already do a lot of things alone in public without a second thought. However, due to social norms, our personalities, and the environment, there are activities that make us very uncomfortable and can stop us from engaging in things we might enjoy, which could help us break some Bad Day mojo.
While we feel comfortable going to the shop and buying some eggs, walking from the bus stop to the office, or waiting at the EFTPOS machine (all very public and solo things we do), activities like sitting in a restaurant for lunch, going to the movies or travelling alone have some people breaking out into hives.
It’s not actually about being alone. It’s about being seen being alone because the moment you sit down at a table for one or think about going to a movie by yourself, your brain gets busy. Do I look awkward? Do people think I’ve been stood up? Do I need to pretend to be an undercover food or movie critic? We’re uncomfortable because we think we’re being assessed. [Spoiler: We’re not. Everyone else is too busy worrying about themselves. But that’s not how it feels.]
Some people have turned eating alone into a personal development challenge, calling it solo dining or table-for-one. It’s like a triathlon, but with gnochhi followed by the obligatory post to social media.
Taking yourself out, being independent and not waiting for other people to be available so you can live your life - there’s something genuinely good in that.
Not putting your life on hold? Excellent.
Learning you can enjoy your own company? Also excellent.
But lunch gets weird when it becomes a test. Can you sit there by yourself … without your phone … without looking like you’ve been emotionally abandoned by society … and enjoy a 12-course degustation at a Michelin-starred restaurant? Which makes lunch less “I feel like pasta” and more “I must prove I am a fully evolved, self-sufficient human.” Is it about growth, or is it content with cutlery?