False Mornings And The Lies My Brain Tells Me
You know the moment: you drift off to sleep, dream a bizarre Netflix mini-series, wake up feeling renewed… and it’s 11:07 pm. You’ve been asleep for two hours, and your brain is behaving like it’s time for breakfast and quarterly reporting.
When this happened to me recently - again - I had to ask, “What in the circadian sabotage is going on?” So, I did a wee bit of investigation, and here’s what I discovered.
My Brain Has Clock Confusion
What I had experienced , and maybe you have too, is a classic case of sleep time distortion, a.k.a. No, You Are Not Refreshed, Brenda, You’ve Been Out Cold for 117 Minutes.
The suprachiasmatic nucleus governs your body clock (circadian rhythm), yes, it sounds like a Star Wars villain, but it’s actually a tiny region in your hypothalamus that controls melatonin production and sleep timing. When it’s misaligned (thanks to stress, irregular routines, or binge-watching “Shark Tank: Celebrity Edition”), your brain gets confused about what time it is. So it improvises. Badly.
Deep Sleep: The Overachiever of the Sleep World
In the first stage of the night, you go into slow-wave sleep. That lovely, drool-on-pillow, dead-to-the-world kind of rest. This is when your brain consolidates memories, clears toxins (a big shout-out to the glymphatic system), and repairs itself, much like a tech team pushing an urgent software patch.
But here’s the kicker: if you wake up right after that phase, your brain may feel like it’s completed the entire sleep cycle. It’s like running one lap of a marathon, sitting down, and declaring victory.
It works overtime early in the night, then assumes the job’s done. It’s giving “over-functioning intern energy.”
The Workplace Connection: No, You’re Not Well-Rested
For knowledge workers, leaders, or anyone still whispering sweet nothings to Outlook at 11 pm, this faux-refresh moment is a trap. It can lead you to believe:
“I might as well get up and clear my inbox.”
“I’ve had a great rest, so I should tackle that presentation now.”
“I’m awake, therefore required to be productive.” (Big lie.)
But sleep researcher Dr. Matthew Walker warns us that sleep loss impairs cognitive function, decision-making, and emotional regulation (Walker, 2017). Waking too early, even if you feel ready, is like sending a half-baked cake to a cooking competition because it smells done.
Also: Life’s a Bit Much Right Now
This weird sleep pattern often shows up during high-stress or high-demand periods, both personally and professionally. Your brain’s threat detection systems don’t care if the "danger" is a looming deadline or a passive-aggressive group chat. It just says, “Better stay alert in case of... something.”
So even though you’re technically asleep, your nervous system is still loitering around like your personal subconscious security guard, scanning for email notifications.
Don’t Let Your Brain Gaslight You
That 11 pm wake-up? It’s a false positive. You are not refreshed. You are not ready. You are a confused mammal in pyjamas.
Instead of submitting to the illusion of morning, try:
Don’t check the time (if you do, lie to yourself)
Low lights only—no overhead interrogation beams
No screens—your phone is not your friend, it’s a blue-light saboteur
Gentle return—try a sleep story, deep breathing, or visualising your happy place (mine’s a hammock swaying between two deadlines I’ve cancelled)
If your brain were an employee, it would file a grievance: “Expected to deliver full productivity on partial rest. Denied adequate REM. Gaslit into wakefulness. Please advise.”
So next time you wake up at 11 pm feeling like you’ve emerged from a spiritual retreat, remember: it’s not you. It’s your beautifully neurotic, overachieving brain doing its best to protect you with slightly deranged timing.
Let it go back to bed. So you can too.